Just found worms in the fridge. I’m moving out.
I don’t understand why I’m not dead. When your heart breaks, you should die.– Harper, from Angels In America (via mamihlapinatapai6014)
I didn’t come this far for you to make this hard for me.– Lisa Loeb - How
Ordering checks from an add I found in the ‘National Enquirer’
Catholics don’t get to have dirty orgasms.– Infinite Wisdom
At least i’ve never been statutory raped!– Maddie
It's just one of those days
Today has been one of ‘those days’. First I have to wake up at 5 to be at school for a final at 8. Then the movie I need to write a paper is not on reserve at the library like my professor promised it would. Then my counselor emailed me informing he couldn’t add me to the waitlist, even though it wasn’t my fault no one got back to my emails for two weeks. Then my air...
The World's Youngest Grandmother
twism: Rifca Stanescu, a Romanian housewife, has reportedly became a grandmother at 23 years old — she got married at 11 years old and gave birth to her daughter Maria the following year. Here’s the BEST part: Maria got married at age 10 and gave birth a year later. Sure, I am in no position to judge other people’s culture, but who the hell gives birth at 11 or 12? FYI, Rifca’s mother will...
S*%t Maddie Says
Maddie: ’I have nothing but an occasional flirtation with the cafeteria man!’ Me: ’WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FALL FOR FOOD SERVICE WORKERS?!’ Maddie: ‘BECAUSE THEY GIVE ME FOOD. AND FOOD IS LOVE.’
Libraryland: "The Big White Phone" by Charlie... →
libraryland: In the twisted times of a rotten game, Where flood waters raised coffins from pain. Where the worms of freedom have all gone insane, I plucked them or sucked them from the heart of my brain. When the edge of confusion appears in disarray, It’s an act of delusion dead babies would say. When… #WINNING
Things people do on facebook that piss me off
1. Posting stupid statuses (and then being offended when I ‘like’ it sarcastically) - I know this is vague, but the majority of your 800 friends won’t give a flying fuck if your dog died, or if your ‘having a bad day’. Get over it, or talk to your friends and family in a private matter, such as messages or actually talking to someone in person. 2. When people post...
“Me: I love shameless. Maddie: No you don’t, you just love skinny...– S*&t my best friend says