March 2011
33 posts
Priorities
‘Oh, I’m sorry you have to see me like this, I like to give off the appearance that I don’t use the bathroom.’
February 2011
21 posts
“Guys…I just saw a dead body.’
‘I told you not to take the east stairwell, my paster says it’s meth season!’” —Community
‘I told you not to take the east stairwell, my paster says it’s meth season!’” —Community
“‘She doesn’t really talk, because she’s from China.’”
—Maddie VandenBranden
“‘Today was a rough day, I almost bitch slapped a meth addict’”
—Maddie VandenBranden
Happy Valentines Day
‘These candies you gave me, sucked.’
‘Then why did you eat all of them…?’
‘I had to make sure they all sucked.’
“
SO ASIANS
They are hilarious
The most awkward thing..
Was her and her Asian friend live in a room full of typical college guys, who LOVE teaching the Asians dirty words.
So they were like, “Hey Lucy, do you know what Jizz is?”
“How about threesome?”
And she was like, “Maddie, what it mean? The Jizz? Like, Jeez, like Jesus?”
I was like, “Oh honey no….”
I TRIED TO EXPLAIN IT, BUT I DIDN”T EVEN KNOW WHAT SODOMY WAS UNTIL RECENTLY SO I AM NAIVE
*********************************************
“It’s awkward. I pictured College full of whores, and I thought I’d be the good girl…
But no, like half the people I meet are like, “Yeah, I’ve never even kissed a boy…”
I am like “Oh. That’s nice. My Mouth is like the bus-EVERYONE is welcome! And most of them are homeless”
**********************************************************
I wish marriage was illegal for everyone, not just the gays. EQUALITY FOR ALL.
” —Shit My Best Friend Says
“
“She looks like a shitty prom date…8 hours after the prom.”
“I don’t like when ugly people talk to me.”
“Connor: I don’t know how to cook bacon. Kelli: Are you serious? It just turns color as it cooks, then i’ts done, how do you not know that? Connor: Yes, because I turn color and cook, just like the bacon. Kelli: Well I should ask the women you’ve been with. Connor:…What? Kelli: You know, cause you said you change color…”
” —Shit My Step Sister SaysWhen you save a seat for a friend in class
When you’re saving a seat for a friend
And somebody comes and asks if the seat is taken and you’re all like
And you tell them “my best friend is going to come and we’re going to have a blast together”, and in your head you’re like
Then your friend shows up and you’re like
But he doesnt notice you and you’re like
And then that bitch that asked for the seat is all like
And then you’re all like
Then after class you confront your friend for ignoring you like
Submitted by roflamao
“‘Abraham Lincoln was the president during the Renaissance, right?’”
—Kelli Cummins
“‘Betty Crocker was fat and alone.’”
—Madeline Vanden Branden
“‘Oregon is such a beautiful place to get an abortion.’”
—Chelsea Handler
